Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Weird Wednesday: Hospital Hijinks

One place that I almost always encounter weirdness is hospitals.  I don't suppose that's surprising to anybody here, because hospitals are strange places.  They keep you in bed 24/7 because you're supposed to be resting so you can heal, but then every time you drift off to sleep they wake you up.   I can't imagine a worse place to recover from anything.

It was late afternoon/early evening after the surgery to put my leg back together. If you missed the story of how I broke it you'll find it here.  Not long after I woke up they brought me a roommate.  Older lady, talkative ... and nutty as a fruitcake.  I was still under the influence of anesthesia, kind of in and out, so I thought at first it might just be that I was a bit confused and tried to reserve judgment.

As we were getting ready to call it a night I started getting a little concerned, as the little bit of woman was scurrying around the room tugging at pieces of furniture and muttering to herself.  When I asked her what it was that she was trying to do, she explained that she was trying to bar the door so those nurses couldn't keep coming in there.  Now, I couldn't get out of bed at ALL yet at this point and I told her I NEEDED those nurses to be able to come in ... while casually trying to unobtrusively move my hand toward the call button.

She said she couldn't help it, that every time those nurses came in during the night they left the door open so that all those cats could sneak into our room, and she just couldn't deal with all those cats crawling all over her all night long.  Then she started muttering to herself again and continued dragging things toward the door.  Oooh kay .. CATS!  Evil, sneaky attack cats that have hypnotized the nurses to do their bidding.

Now I am starting to panic and punching that button repeatedly.  A nurse finally answers,

"Did you need something?"

"Um, you'd better get in here before the barricade is complete"  I  squeaked, trying to be quiet about it, but there was no need to worry, my roomie was totally engrossed in her efforts to save us from the coming cat invasion.

It was the first time I had ever seen an immediate response to a nurses call button, and it was a good thing too 'cause I was fixing to go off on a nut myself.  Suddenly the room was filled with hospital personnel (who, strangely enough, were catless) who quickly and calmly put everything back in place and whisked my roomie off to the psyche ward.

If you are a regular reader of my Weird Wednesday posts, you might get the idea that I am some sort of magnet for 'crazy'.  I cannot argue with that assessment.  I don't know why it is, but if there is a loony tune anywhere within a mile of me they will find me and try to make me a part of their sing-a-long.

I'd like to tell you that the rest of that hospital stay was uneventful, even boring ... but it wasn't.  I think though, that I'd better save the story of Attila and Hun and the Demerol induced hallucinations for another episode of Weird Wednesday.  Come back next week, same bat time, same bat channel.


  1. Haha ha sorry to laugh at your misfortunes but you have made it very entertaining! Poor old nutty lady... oh dear maybe that will be us one day!
    By the way tried to follow the link to find out how you were injured but it didn't work - ?

  2. Thanks for the heads up on the link Alexia, all fixed now.

    You might as well laugh about it ... I sure do ;)

  3. I’ve only stayed in hospital once. It was when my appendix burst. The first thing I was surprised about, was that it was a mixed ward! And, the second, was I was put directly opposite to the resident loony. He didn’t barricade the doors; he just talked nonsense loudly (all day and all night), and urinated on the floor. I just wish we knew about these things in advance, so I could have taken some water-proof slippers in with me.
    The enigmatic, masked blogger

  4. Mustang Sally- hmmm Crazy magnet, and a redhead...sounds like we ahve more in common than i previously thought...

    i look forward to the WW posts...I love the pics you picked...'specially the "gangland cat"

    Happy Thanksgiving
    bruce johnson jadip

    stupid stuff i see and hear

  5. Haha I had a couple of nutty old ladies in my 6 person ward. There were no cats involved, but I quickly took on the roll of Call button presser every time one of them tried yet again to get out of bed complete with connected tubes; or decided she needed the loo because she didn't understand that she had a catheter. Yes Doreen, this bag, it's a ca-the-ter.


  6. Sounds like a fairly routine hospital stay to me. Do you have something against cats. :)

  7. Demerol induced hallucinations? Sounds fun! Hopefully they didn't involve cats crawling all over you.

  8. what a CATastropy (sorry couldn't resist) of a stay in hospitaland yet you made a funny story out of it cheers I cant wait to read the next weeks

  9. This was awesome! It would make a great short story, actually, which should end with a cat walking across the room after everyone has left.

  10. Your story is way too funny! But it has made me want to live in a bubble even more now- because I don't think I could handle any amount of time in the hospital.

  11. Hi there. I absolutely loved this story. Sounds like we have the same kind of hospital crazies magnet. OMG...funny. I hope you're doing ok since this surgery. I think I'm also your 50th follower. Do I get a prize? Bells and whistles? haha. Can't wait to read some more of your blog. Barb

  12. I can only imagine the panic that ensued as this lady was trying to move furniture while talking of the cat invasion. Great story, thanks for the laugh.

  13. I used to attract the crazzies but since I over took them they stopped, it appears you have attracted me!